I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
