She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
