As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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