there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
