Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
