I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
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