My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
