No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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