ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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