hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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