the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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