Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
