Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
