I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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