I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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