My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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