it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
