ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ambien. No doubt about it.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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