So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
