I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
