I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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