In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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