Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
