I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
