Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
