Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
