I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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