I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
