bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
