why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
