So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
