I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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