The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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