Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
