I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I party with great urgency now.
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