My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
