Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
