hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
