I'm so fucking centered right now
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
