At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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