I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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