you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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