shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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