I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
