I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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