My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
