20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
