i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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