i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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