so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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