Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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