its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it's like heaven, but drunker
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
