Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So much rum. So many feels.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
