There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
