flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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