It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
