is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
