Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
